How to be a criminal mastermind

Roland Sips workshop 'I am a machine' is my favourite so far. The assignement here is to devise illustrations in the technical style of instruction manuals, assembly sheets and the like. The topic is a free choice.

Most people think it is a good idea to be famous and the fastest way to get well-known to virtually everybody is, quite obviously, by becoming an international super-criminal. A branch of operations afflicted with the worst case of disregard so far. But, don't have no fear, future high-end criminals, a simple to understand and down to the detail step-by-step guide for you is on the way. No more fussing about which of those annoyingly similar chemical compounds goes to the inner and which to the outer part of that letterbomb, no doubt about the proper way to set up your next little suicide-bombing, every topic possible will be covered in this handy guide to your very own fifteen minutes of fame...




All illustrations are going to be hand-drawn, only to be digitalized and coloured in the most soothing colours conceivable. To be seen here are the first sketches, badly photographed with a cellphone.

How to make those fuckers move.

Since this seems to be a big problem for most of us, here comes the explanation and the solution; to get them lickle animated .gifs to display correctly, i.e. moving, in your blog, you have to host them somewhere else.
Blogger hosts images you load up to your blog on Picasa. Picasa does not support animated images for some obscure reason. For some reason even more obscure, it is only the preview image which doesn't want to wiggle. However, using the upload file option in Blogger will not give you animated things in the post itself. (more...)


And here comes the webspace on the www.akivis.com server handy. Just upload your image there, tell Blogger to add an image from the web, copy-paste the new adress of your image on akivis, hit upload and there you go. Blogger doesn't load up the image at all, it just references it and thus the animation stays animated.

just klick anything that moves

…and again it's this stuff. This time a bit flashier, but still the same.
There are actually two versions, this one and this other one, which ain't buggy no more, mate. Both work by the same principle; by clicking, you add snippets which you can arrange any way you like.



All the snippets are little movieclips of their own, which are loaded onto different levels of the main clip. Which one will be loaded is decided randomly. Every snippet is only allowed once.

The Messiah brings boring hope

So, behold and hark, this time the Messiah got a jersey number.
And He gonna be in A1.
And He will bring us the DIN.

This is actually an assignment by Ina;
The text is taken from Wiebke's collage.


This is not the DIN.

A Romance, refurbished

So here we go again. It's still the same stuff, only compiled to fit on a 600 by 700 px .gif. Oh, and it is embedded from the Akinet Media Archief. Swell.

Embedding is a piece of black cake…

[edit: This, of course, I made a year ago. It's just here to have something to embed. Ahh, embedding, the technology straight from the future.]

A Romance

Today, we had to cut stuff from newspapers and stick it together the way it should have been in the first place. Here we go.



(Since blogger is too stupid to understand 'animated', as in 'animated gif', I had to outsource the funny blinking stuff which tells the story. go there!)

[edit: ok, it's not blogger's fault. As Johan pointed out, it's actually possible to embed .gif without them having transformed to .png. Just rewrite the references in the anchor-tag. But now, this stays like it is.]