Please Do Not Blog Here

As any of us can tell, there are not enough signs in the streets telling you what is allowed and what is not. Especially in less common situations, the average citizen is left to himself. All the time you got to make hard decisions on your own, may I eat this salad and dolphin sandwich here – or not? Might I be hurting somebodys religious feelings? Is it allright if I incinerate myself here or could I be breaking the law in doing so? May I listen to bad hiphop music here? Or is even the consumption of good hiphop music considered an offense in this neighbourhood?


For the »Wall Of Statement« project I picked 12 of the more common problematic decisions of everyday life and ruled them once and for all. Once the european parliament has adopted my admittedly a bit stricter approach to public space rulings, I expect these 12 and at least ten times more signs to be put up in every european city. It is only a question of time until the united S of A follow.

Not Yet XMas

The guys from the akifeestcommissie are not only to few, they also got too much work to do. Who am I, therefore, to reject their plea for a well designed poster announcing their Bingo evening. To be exact, they needed two ones, the first as seen below to raise attention and keep people asking themselves what the crazy feestcommisie might have thought up now, the second one uncensored to give away all the information... click this:


Since the budget was small, it had to be printed in A3 black and white and was handcoloured thereafter. The font used for »Bingo« is, as you can see, the legendary »Black Frituur« (see last entry).

This Entry Has No Title

For all those of you, who were just wishing for the font to compose superfluent warnings and annoying notes with, here it comes (finally): The Black Frittur! The perfect typeface to add that unnerving detail to your next memo, or, in case you are the happy owner of a strandbar on some tropic beach, typeset your cocktail menu in. As you can see above, this nice little darling is actually a bastard of some strict german Fractur and a flamboyant Script. I am sorry, but I just had to. That's what the world was missing. Eh, by the way, it is not yet finished, so in case your strandbar can't wait, please sell only cocktails starting with B or C.

Snake for the Masses

Fück yöü, ActionScript 3! Take this! Harhar! Finally...


Finally a version of snake you can't lose (or win either, by the way..). Also similar to the funky toy thing where you turn a knob and draw that way. Took me a bit to figure out ActionScript 3, but here we go. In this little .swf you can check out if I done well. Use your trusty Arrowkeys to snake around and the Spacebar to reset.
This is actually an update to colour in black and white, Wouter's assignment. I used Flash CS3, the original .fla file can be found on the akivis.com server, I commented it a bit, so You can see what is happening. Basically, there is a underlying grid made up of two-dimensional arrays. Any time you press an arrow-key, both the space you come from and the space you move to is updated. There is also a fullscreen version, which won't work in a browser (I guess), but You can download it and try it out.

Extra Large Ultraviolet Ray Projector (Impossible)

Finally, this fact can be taken for granted: To build an extra large ultra violet ray projector is quite impossible. Not only would it be against all known laws of physics and common sense, also international weapon regulations forbid it. Therefore, we can only muse about it, letting our minds drift and wonder what if. Meanwhile, somewhere else...


This short animation movie is the result of an assignement by Frank Engeman. We were given three soundfiles around which we are to construct some animation. The weapon of choice is Adobe After Effects. Apart from the given sounds, I used samples from some rare trashy movies and comics found on a fleamarket in Enschede. The latter were scanned, seperated into layers and or parts, placed in the fake-3D of AE and animated. Additionally, I used a virtual camera and different lights. After finishing the individual scenes and rendering them, I assembled the whole thing in FCP. The typeface used is Birch, which comes with some Adobe products. For the aged look I used a free Final Cut plugin. I know, the grainy stuff is a bit to much, but it is un-turn-off-able. Behold! The guinea Pig is immortal!

This is an update to this post.

Learn To Cook!

It's simple! It's easy! It's neat! The boys like it and the girls think it's the hippest thing! The only thing you need is this little brochure (also available as a .pdf), an excerpt from Haiko Günther's newest release on penguin press. Take a look inside!

Nathalie aus Frankreich

She has got a CI. Finally.

Colour in Black and White

Wouter forced us to take 36 black and white photographs here with the aim of catching colour and space. Additionally, they should actually be only one. I used my trusty cellphone camera.

Meanwhile, somewhere else...

...a lot can happen. And it actually does. Only, most of the time, you miss most of it. And, most of the time, it's better to miss all the crap happening somewhere else. So, here comes the most obsolete shortfilm ever. It shows you all the stuff you don't need to see. Like real TV or movies do, indeed.

This, of course is only a teaser, since the masterpiece is not finished yet. But I am working hard on it. The main ingredients of this work are: Comics found on a fleamarket in Enschede, Audiosamples given to us by Frank Engeman, whose opdracht started this timeconsuming obsession, Audiosnippets from really bad B-movies, a scanner, a graphic tablet, Photoshop, After Effects and Final Cut (Fainel Kütt).

Bjenkorf, het meest inspirerende warenhuis van Nederland.

An analysis of the shadows of the Bijenkorf building in Enschede, part of a public space assignment. The red stuff is the shadows, the white stuff (not discriminable from the background) is all the rest.

All hail Magyar!

After quite some time I finally included the glorious hungarian letters U+0150/51 and U+0170/71 into my infamous font Rex Mundi. Now, every true magyar can use them to write his uproarious and completely cryptic poetics, using a typeface highly suited for anything. Now, every budapestian can put up a neon signs saying 'szexbolt' in one of the best sets of letters ever made. Even in true small caps. Or bold, if you like.
This typeface got 'minden', in case you speak hungarian. Magyar galore!

How to be a criminal mastermind

Roland Sips workshop 'I am a machine' is my favourite so far. The assignement here is to devise illustrations in the technical style of instruction manuals, assembly sheets and the like. The topic is a free choice.

Most people think it is a good idea to be famous and the fastest way to get well-known to virtually everybody is, quite obviously, by becoming an international super-criminal. A branch of operations afflicted with the worst case of disregard so far. But, don't have no fear, future high-end criminals, a simple to understand and down to the detail step-by-step guide for you is on the way. No more fussing about which of those annoyingly similar chemical compounds goes to the inner and which to the outer part of that letterbomb, no doubt about the proper way to set up your next little suicide-bombing, every topic possible will be covered in this handy guide to your very own fifteen minutes of fame...




All illustrations are going to be hand-drawn, only to be digitalized and coloured in the most soothing colours conceivable. To be seen here are the first sketches, badly photographed with a cellphone.

How to make those fuckers move.

Since this seems to be a big problem for most of us, here comes the explanation and the solution; to get them lickle animated .gifs to display correctly, i.e. moving, in your blog, you have to host them somewhere else.
Blogger hosts images you load up to your blog on Picasa. Picasa does not support animated images for some obscure reason. For some reason even more obscure, it is only the preview image which doesn't want to wiggle. However, using the upload file option in Blogger will not give you animated things in the post itself. (more...)


And here comes the webspace on the www.akivis.com server handy. Just upload your image there, tell Blogger to add an image from the web, copy-paste the new adress of your image on akivis, hit upload and there you go. Blogger doesn't load up the image at all, it just references it and thus the animation stays animated.

just klick anything that moves

…and again it's this stuff. This time a bit flashier, but still the same.
There are actually two versions, this one and this other one, which ain't buggy no more, mate. Both work by the same principle; by clicking, you add snippets which you can arrange any way you like.



All the snippets are little movieclips of their own, which are loaded onto different levels of the main clip. Which one will be loaded is decided randomly. Every snippet is only allowed once.

The Messiah brings boring hope

So, behold and hark, this time the Messiah got a jersey number.
And He gonna be in A1.
And He will bring us the DIN.

This is actually an assignment by Ina;
The text is taken from Wiebke's collage.


This is not the DIN.

A Romance, refurbished

So here we go again. It's still the same stuff, only compiled to fit on a 600 by 700 px .gif. Oh, and it is embedded from the Akinet Media Archief. Swell.

Embedding is a piece of black cake…

[edit: This, of course, I made a year ago. It's just here to have something to embed. Ahh, embedding, the technology straight from the future.]

A Romance

Today, we had to cut stuff from newspapers and stick it together the way it should have been in the first place. Here we go.



(Since blogger is too stupid to understand 'animated', as in 'animated gif', I had to outsource the funny blinking stuff which tells the story. go there!)

[edit: ok, it's not blogger's fault. As Johan pointed out, it's actually possible to embed .gif without them having transformed to .png. Just rewrite the references in the anchor-tag. But now, this stays like it is.]

Under Cover

In die Gruppe Erstsemester eingeschlichen und mit selbigen einen Park besucht. Selbiger starrt vor Kästen aus Backsteinen, sehr ansprechend möbliert mit in erster Linie nichts. Nur die hie und da hingeworfenen Skulpturen und Skizzen lassen vermuten, das hier auch Kultur ist. Sehr angenehm zurückhaltende Kultur, allerdings. Und dazu in ihrer angenehmsten und überflüssigsten Form, welche sich Kunst nennt. Ein alles in allem feiner Ausflug mit viel Lustwandeln und Romantik.



Die Khmer, ein sehr schlechtgelauntes Volk.